A SWIMSUIT MODEL MAY SEEM AN UNLIKELY PARENTING HERO, BUT HANG ON. THERE'S A LOT TO ADMIRE ABOUT HOW CHRISSY TEIGEN IS TAKING TO MOTHERHOOD AND SILENCING HER CRITICS.
From before her daughter was even born, Chrissy was bombarded with criticism and unsolicited advise. OMG she chose to have a girl through IVF?! Did you hear she was planning to hire a "night nurse"?! <Gasp> How dare a mother have the insight to bring on support for those challenging early days of parenting.
(Psst: we heard some insider info that while Chrissy used the term "night nurse", she actually hired a postpartum doula!)
Once baby Luna was here, the critiquing and mom-shaming ramped up. Can you believe she went out to dinner with her husband?! Why is she breastfeeding in sexy a music video?! You get the idea...
Celebrity moms, they're "just like us": Attracting unsolicited parenting advice and mom-shaming at every turn.
Chrissy has a prolific online personality on social media. She's famously open about sharing the mundane and fabulous parts of her life with husband John Legend. Of course one of the risks to being so open is inviting in "trolls" who invariably want to rain on your parade. Chrissy has always been refreshingly direct in responding to her critics, but Instagram just gave her (and other select "high profile" 'grammers) an extra tool in their tool box: a "troll filter".
Ms. Tiegen posted a pic this week of the words she's been adding to her custom filter to block hateful comments on her Instagram feed.
Hold on, now. A customizable filter to block all the unsolicited advice, nasty comments, and judgment from reaching you?! All moms need this!!
As doulas, we often hear from people "what's one piece of advice you would give to new parents?"
While there's certainly lots that parents can learn about pregnancy, birth, and parenting, here's our go-to piece of advice:
Find a select few trusted resources, decide what's best for you and your family, and build yourself a solid filter to quiet the noise of unwanted, unsolicited, and judgmental advice.
Whether it's about the choices you make during pregnancy, how you choose to give birth, how you choose to feed or diaper your baby... the opportunities are endless. And for whatever reason pregnancy and early parenting seem to bring out all the critics. Whether it's a perfect stranger at the grocery store, some jerk on the internet, your best friend, or even your own mother... people are bound to have - and then share with you - their opinions on how you are raising your children.
The truth is, there are MANY right ways to be a good parent. Only you know what's best for you and your family. As your doulas, we're honored to support you no matter what you choose. And we can guarantee you that in a world filled with judgment and opinions, we are your safe haven of unconditional, unwavering, and unbiased support.
Unfortunately, most of us aren't "high-profile" enough to get a customizable filter on Instagram to block our "haters".
We have to create our own filters.
We can choose to hit the (imaginary) "mute" button on all that advice we never asked for in the first place. We can be selective about who we let into our family's bubble. Sometimes this can be h-a-r-d. Especially when the criticism and judgment is coming from family members.
